Have you ever found yourself in this situation?
You’ve matched with an amazing woman on a dating app and decided to meet up at a cozy coffee shop for the first time. You’re excited about the opportunity to finally connect in person—she seems like everything you’ve been looking for.
But as soon as you arrive, anxiety takes over. Your heart races, and your thoughts start spinning. She’s even more stunning than her photos, which only heightens your nerves. As you approach her, your mind goes completely blank. When you finally manage to speak, you’re not even sure if your words made sense.
Sound familiar?
Even if this exact scenario hasn’t happened to you, chances are you’ve experienced something similar. Anxiety when meeting someone new—especially someone you’re attracted to—is perfectly normal. The good news? There’s a way to overcome it.
The Key: Plan Ahead
One of the most effective ways to combat this anxiety is to plan ahead for your conversation. Preparation builds confidence and helps prevent those moments where your mind freezes.
Here’s how:
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Jot Down Conversation Starters
Grab a pen and paper and write down topics or questions you’d like to discuss. This process not only helps you organize your thoughts but also commits them to memory. When the time comes, you’ll have a mental script to guide you. -
Practice Your Greeting
Make eye contact and stand tall with good posture when you greet her. Confidence is incredibly attractive, and even if you’re nervous, these small adjustments can make a big impact. Plus, her positive response will help you relax. -
Prepare Questions and Stories
Think of a few open-ended questions to ask her. This serves two purposes: it helps you get to know her better and gives her a chance to talk about herself—something most people enjoy.In addition, plan a story or two to share. A good story can make you relatable and put both of you at ease.
Example: A Childhood Story
Let me share a quick example of a story you could use to spark ideas:
When I was five years old, I told my mom after my first day of school that I didn’t need to go back because, in my opinion, they already had enough kids in class. Our house back then was on stilts, and my younger brother Daniel would always wait by the front door for me to come home. The thing is, he never saw me use the front door.
One day, his curiosity got the better of him, and he asked how I got inside the house. I told him I had magical powers that allowed me to walk through walls. He was amazed and begged me to share the secret. So, I waved my hands dramatically and told him he now had the same powers.
Excited, he ran full speed into the wall—and, well, you can guess how that ended. While it wasn’t magical for him, it’s a story we laugh about to this day.
Final Thoughts
By planning your greeting, preparing conversation topics, and having a lighthearted story ready, you can reduce your anxiety and make a great impression. Confidence is something you can build with preparation—and with each successful interaction, it’ll come more naturally.
So, take a deep breath, plan ahead, and remember: meeting someone new should be fun!