When you turn on the TV, read the news, listen to the radio, or browse the Internet, you’re often exposed to negative events, disasters, and failures. If you’re anything like me, you may find yourself avoiding these sources of news and entertainment, as the constant flow of negativity can drain your energy and harm your mental state. Unfortunately, much of this negativity stems from individuals struggling with low self-esteem. Research shows that over 85% of the global population suffers from some form of self-esteem deficiency.
Low self-esteem leads to a range of unpleasant emotions and behaviors, such as unhappiness, anger, fear, procrastination, frustration, shyness, and feelings of inadequacy. These emotions often drive people to find unhealthy ways to cover up their lack of confidence. Here are three common ways people try to escape the uncomfortable feelings associated with low self-esteem:
1) Forced and Unhealthy Communication
One of the most common ways people mask low self-esteem is through forced communication, where interactions with others become unnatural and destructive. For example, when we feel uncomfortable in social situations or fear being controlled, we might try to assert ourselves through aggression or manipulation. This could be expressed as yelling, using hurtful language, or making unfair remarks.
A prime example of this is when a partner makes a comment that causes you to feel attacked or inferior. (Remember, others’ words only affect your self-esteem if you allow them to.) When you react with hostility or defensiveness, you may unintentionally escalate the situation, causing a cycle of negative communication that ultimately damages relationships.
Low self-esteem doesn’t just affect personal relationships — it can also influence other areas of life. This may manifest in a fear of public speaking, poor professional communication, pursuing careers that don’t align with personal passions, or staying in unhealthy relationships because of fear that you won’t attract your ideal partner. Additionally, low self-esteem can result in raising children with fear-based perceptions or poor social skills.
2) Excessive Sleeping to Escape Reality
Do you know someone who sleeps excessively to avoid facing their problems? For many, sleep becomes a means of escaping feelings of inadequacy, fear, and discomfort — emotions tied to low self-esteem. These feelings often leave people drained, causing them to want to escape rather than deal with life’s challenges.
While sleep can be restorative and help people cope with stress, some people use it as a way to numb their pain rather than regain energy for a fresh start. Chronic sleeping as a form of escape leaves issues unresolved and can worsen over time, creating a cycle of avoidance and increasing emotional distress.
3) Turning to Alcohol, Drugs, and Cigarettes
Another common coping mechanism is turning to substances like alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes. These substances may provide temporary relief, but they ultimately mask the underlying issue — a lack of self-esteem. Many people reach for these substances after stressful events or emotional setbacks, hoping to numb the pain and avoid confronting their challenges.
However, these escape methods only serve to compound existing problems. In addition to their harmful physical effects, substances like alcohol and drugs often exacerbate negative emotions, leading to destructive behaviors. This creates a vicious cycle where the need for escape intensifies, further damaging self-esteem and perpetuating a downward spiral.
Breaking the Cycle
The common thread between these behaviors is low self-esteem, which drives people to seek ways to escape from uncomfortable feelings. Instead of relying on destructive habits to avoid or numb the pain, a more effective and empowering approach is to focus on building self-esteem. By elevating your self-worth, you can break free from these harmful patterns and lead a more fulfilling and abundant life.
Through years of coaching experience with thousands of clients, I’ve discovered a simple yet powerful process for improving self-esteem. It involves healing from past hurts, evaluating your current situation, and actively designing your future. If you’re ready to take control of your self-esteem and improve your life, consider following a step-by-step program like The Self-Esteem Book: The Ultimate Guide to Boost the Most Underrated Ingredient for Success and Happiness in Life.